Dance Like No One's Watching

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with, we will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire. The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.

One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D Souza. He said,

"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin -real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way, so, treasure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time... and remember that time waits for no one. So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy... Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So, Work like you don't need money. Love like you've never been hurt and Dance Like no one's watching.

Faded Feelings

"I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."

--Iris {The Holiday}

I went away to Wales for a month over the summer, and the part where she mentions going somewhere new, and meeting new people who make you feel worthwhile, I can truly relate to. Actually I think I can relate to the whole movie, (except for the whole... falling in love with a new person part). But the problem was... coming back.

Its true when they say you can never really truley run away from your past.

I just find it odd how sometimes love can hurt you so much to the point where it takes, going to another world where you've never been before, to help you stay distracted, or not even help you stay distracted, but to help you truly find yourself, and the happiness that you thought you'd never find again.

But thats where it proves to me.. that there is always hope. Even if its on the other side of the world.

Its still there. And I vow that I will find it again someday, and I will grasp it, and I will never forget it, nor will I ever let it go.

Can she be forgiven? Will someone catch her?

Hours fly by and she's still there. Still sitting there, wondering how she could even stand to stare at the facelss image she's been staring at for so long. Whats even worse, is she can't figure out who it is, even though she's staring at a mirror. This faceless image is supposed to be herself, but how can that be, when she doesn't even know who she is anymore?

How did she lose herself?

Nineteen years of living, and no recollection of who she is, or should I say, who she once was. Faint memories of happiness flash through her mind, but only the faintest image and the tiniest second, she's forced to believe its just mind games, it never once existed.

That evilness trapped inside of her, and all she prays to do is rid of it and be free. Its been so long though, that she is convinced she doesn't deserve it anymore.

She wants and needs help, yet pushes it away, because she believes its either not real, or she's too worthless to recieve it. So she shrugs it off, leaving the only impression on the kind that tried to be friendly, that she's cold.

Because she is.

She see's a friendly smile directed at her, and looks around to be sure.

Yes, its directed at her, and she begins to let her wall of cold hard metal down, and begins to feel what is so faintly familiar to her, the warmth of kindness, and friendliness, sometimes even love, and she begins to panic, and quickly puts her guard back up, but this time, adds another wall, and hears an evil laughter and a voice inside her say to her that she was a fool for even trying.

Her own voice, her own self, has turned its back on her. And yet she wonders why no one ever has faith in her.

"Why should they? When they've tried and tried and tried, and all you've done was waste their time, turn their help down, push them away, lock them out!"

"Shut up!" she screams "I have tried!"

"No darling, not hard enough, and you know why, beacuse its pointless! Even if you managed to be happy, it would only be temporary. You know you will get hurt again, and you will run behind your walls of metal and hide again! Face it, its where you belong. Where you want to be, otherwise you wouldn't have been here in the first place."

Now more than ever, she wants to break free. She's sick of being haunted, and living like she's worthless, like she's not alive.

"If living like I wasn't alive was my purpose, I would have been done and gone a long time ago. This was not my purpose, this was not who i'm meant to be, and I will not be dragged down anymore. I'm going to need and take all the help I can get, even if that means getting hurt again."

"But you've already pushed everyone away.. Your family, your boyfriend, your friends.. there's no one left, no one has faith in you to change, you can't do it on your own, you'll never survive, like I said.. You're a fool!"

"Then I'll try three times as hard, keep praying, and if I have to, I'll do it on my own, all i know is that I have warred with myself for too long, and its time that I won."

But as determind as she is... she cant help but wonder...

Will someone catch me?

Will anyone walk with me?

Will I or Can I be forgiven?

Only time can tell...

One Tree Hill - Quotes that hit home..

One Tree Hill-

Season 5- Episode 2

“The rest of your life is a long time, and whether you know it or not, its being shaped right now. You can choose to blame your circumstances on fate or bad luck, or bad choices, or you can fight back. Things aren’t always going to be fair in the real world. Thats just the way it is. But for the most part, you get what you give. Let me ask you all a question, whats worse, not getting everything you wished for? Or getting it, but finding out its not enough? The rest of your life is being shaped right now, with the dreams you chase, the choices you make, and the person you decide to be.”

Season 5 Ep. 13

"Make a wish and place in your heart. Anything you want. Everything you want. Do you have it?... Good... Now believe it can come true. You never know where the next miracle is gunna come from, the next smile, the next wish come true. But if you believe that its right around the corner and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it, you just might get the thing you're wishing for. The world is full of magic. You just have to believe in it. So make your wish.Do you have it?Good.... Now believe in it.With all your heart."

Season 5 Ep. 14

“Its been said that the saddest thing a man will ever face is ‘what might’ve been’. But what of the man whose faced with what was? Or what may never be? Or what can no longer be? Choosing the right path is never easy, its a decision we make with only our hearts to guide us. But sometimes we find ourselves to something better. Sometimes we fight through the regret and remorse of our mistakes, our malice, and our jealous, and the shame we feel for not being the people we were meant to be. And thats when we find our way to something better. Or when something better, find its way to us.”

Season 5 Ep.15

"Sometimes when you’re young, you think nothing can hurt you, it’s like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you and you have big plans.. Find your perfect match, the one that completes you. But as you get older, you realize that its not always that easy. Its not until the end of your life that the plans that you made were simply plans. But then at the end, when you’re looking back, instead of forward, you wanna believe that you made the most of what life gave you, you wanna believe that you’re leaving something good behind. You want it all to have mattered."

Hope & Inspiration;

And her story continues...

After so long of being ok.. She asks herself "whats the point in trying anymore?".

With past mistakes always being shoved in her face;

Will she ever be able to redeem herself?

Music is supposed to be her safe place.

But there are too many memories engraved in the words. She reaches for her razor, holds it against her once broken skin, but she hesitates, thinking she's gone crazy, she hears it again..A faint voice, whispering to her:

"You ARE ok, you WILL BE ok, you ARE stronger than this... What is the point?? To prove them wrong! What do you have that they dont?FAITH. HOPE. And LOVE. You have these three things, and you can be an inspiration to those who struggle, like you."

She drops the razor, crying harder then ever, mascara staining her face, and in a split second without even realizing what she had just done, the tears stopped and the feeling inside of her was indescribable. "Redemption?" she wondered as she stared in awe of what was written on her arms.

LOVE

She had written love on her arms in permanent marker. Reminded of the organization "To Write Love On Her Arms" and the story of how it came to be and the story of rescue in a girl who had once lost her ways and once had hope dangle before her by a thread, as she clung to her life because it too dangled by a thread."Love is the movement"

A group of people proved that "rescue is possible" and that "love is the movement". By simply doing just that. Loveing a broken girl who had felt the lash of rejection from who had no hope, no faith, no love. This group of friends took her in, no questions asked. They helped her by feeding her, giving her shelter, treated like a princess, a friend, a family member. They had faith in her and gave her hope. Most importantly they LOVED her. 'To Write Love On Her Arms' has become a safe place for her and many others. The story of a broken girl has become another broken girls inspiration. When she struggles and hits a rough patch, she remember 'To Write Love On Her Arms' instead of harming her fragile skin. And she will remember the inspiring story of a girl who had suffered and struggled though worse, and has found Hope, Faith and Love. In her story she spoke of the stars. She said;

"The stars are always there, but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

She has become my inspiration. And to her I am forever grateful for sharing her story and reminding nor just me, but thousands of others that there IS hope.

Always remember hope.

www.twloha.com

A Song That Hits Home

Father, I’m going through some heavy things It seems like this world ain’t getting any better The more we try to get closer to You The farther we run from Your throne I’ve spent so many nights wonderin’ when will it end When will the day come when happiness begins I’m running the race but it seems too hard to win I’m sick of mourning my stomach is throwing up in the morning I’m calling for help and watching it melt away My heart’s been put on display and put away In many ways, many times I told myself it was ok And anger was the price that was paid While these faded dreams just screamed to bring them home The burden was too heavy I kept running from the throne I can’t take it any longerI can taste my spirit hunger God please help me get home Chorus: Lord though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I’m not scared cause You’re holding my breath I only fear that I don’t have enough time left To tell the world that there’s no time left, Lord please Lord though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I’m not scared cause You’re holding my breath I only fear that I don’t have enough time left To tell the world that there’s no time left I’ve come to terms that I’m burning both sides of the rope And I’m hoping that self-control would kick in before I’m choking off The sin that be destroying every fiber I got I need the Lord in every way I’ll never make it I’m not Going back to the way I was before Christ in my life I couldn’t do it I would lose it there’s no point to the fight And I’m writing this song, for the people who don’t belong I pray away the pain you feel from all the things that went wrong Inside a life that’s filled with anger and disappointment Cause daddy treated you weaker than all of the other kids It’s annoying and I feel for all of you who wanna give up You feel stuck I feel the same way Lord help us stay up You couldn’t pay me to abandon the idea of true hope That I could make it through this life into a place where there’s no crying I’m dying to find You with open arms when I go Knowing You love me and You waiting to give rest to my soul Lord I don't know what I'm struggling for There’s got to be more Than this life I know But still I’m here fighting to never give up I find strength in Your love And You will see me through

Forgive Me

By

Group 1 Crew

Dana.Faye

She loves the smell of the rain and freshly cut grass, the feel of the breeze on her face, and recieving a smile from someone she cares about.

She's free when she's above the clouds.

Yet she fears heights, along with failure, lonliness and guilt.

She is most comfortable in ripped jeans and a t-shirt.

She's nervous when she's at the doctor's office.

She is shy when first meeting someone at the start..and often misunderstood.

She needs support, memories, and honest friends.

Sunglasses is one of many obsessions.

She gives trust, comfort, and advice.

Spiders, and un-identified creepy crawlies send her running and screaming.

Yet she loves to be outdoors.

Camping, and exploring the mountains is her place of peace.

She can't live without dreaming... and she can't dream without believing.

She can't help but hope for a better world.

She wants a comfortable lifestyle for everyone.

She loves, loves, loves Summer.

She believes everyone should have a stuffed animal close by for comfort.

Having an 'unknown' something in her eye, annoys her.

She is affectionate, trustworthy, and young at heart.

Disney movies are among her favourites.

She loves to sing, dance and be silly random.

She tends to be a push-over and puts others before herself.

She can't wait until she makes a difference.

Music is her first love.

She prays and hopes for those she loves.

{Sometimes she loves too much.}

She knows that making mistakes is a part of lifes lesson

But can't help but feel like a let-down from time to time.

Friends and Family are most important to her.

Who is she?

She is me.

Dana.Faye*