Past and Present

Ida Scott Taylor once wrote:

"Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering."

Well that's great for Ida. But here's something that I would like to know, what do you do when your past, will forever be a part of your present? Your past isn't just an emotional scar of your memory, but a physical one caused by someone that you trusted and loved more than anything else in the world. A physical scar that can determine how your future will turn out. And I'm not just talking about future love life. I'm talking health, and how it will shape you as a person, how you learn to trust anyone ever again... including family and dear friends who have stood by your side supporting your every decision, even if they didn't exactly agree with it or like it. And what about the person who has caused this emotional and physical scar? The person that you gave your whole heart to and ultimately betrayed you in the end.. What are you to think of that person?.. They say to forgive and forget..But can you really forgive if you cannot forget? Lewis B. Smede once said:

"Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future."

Wise words I suppose. Emotionally, that can be semi-do-able. You can be the bigger person and forgive the one who has caused this earthquake in your life. But living with this physical scar, that makes you feel embarrassed, uncomfortable, ashamed.. and just overall.. self-conscious. No matter what you try to do, whether it be, eating healthier foods, and working out, and keeping active... its never enough. I find myself at a crossroads.. There are moments in our lives when we will find ourselves at a crossroad, afraid, confused, and without a road map. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you label yourself? Will you be a coward and shut out the world and conclude that the mistakes you've made in your past define who you are as a person and will be forever? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up. If.. like me.. You are now at a crossroads, this is your opportunity to make one of the most important decisions you will ever make. Forgive your past.. and decide who are you now? Don't think about who you have been. Who are you now? Make this decision consciously. Make it carefully. Make if powerfully. Because it´s only when you´re tested that you truly discover who you are. And it´s only when you´re tested that you discover who you can be. The person that you want to be does exist, somewhere on the other side of hard work, hope and faith. And beyond the heartache and fear of what life has and has yet to throw at you. So who do you choose to be?