Dreaming a Reality

"Have you ever had a dream that seemed so real, when you woke up you didn't know what to believe?

What would you do if what you thought was true wasn't?

And what you thought wasn't true was?

Would you retreat into your dreams with the hope of finding a more perfect reality?

Sometimes life is stranger than a dream.

And the only way to wake up is to face what lies hidden in your soul.

And you can only hope that in those moments of dark reflection,

that you are not alone."

Summer in Wales!!

For those of you interested in my posts about my summer in Wales last year.. click on the link below or just copy and paste it into your browser and I hope you enjoy!! (Sorry it took so long for me to get them up) http://summerinwales08.blogspot.com/

Truth.

Sometimes I wonder if anything's absolute anymore?

Is There Still right and wrong?

Good and bad?

Truth and lies?

Or is everything negotiable?

Left to interpretation.

Grey.

Sometimes we're forced to bend the truth

-Transform it-

Cause we're faced with things that are not of our own making.

And sometimes things simply catch up to us.

Truth is still absolute.

Believe that.

Even when that truth is hard and cold

And more painful than you've ever imagined.

And even when truth is more cruel than any lie.

One Breath From The Heartache.

Trust in me and I will never let you down

Trust your soul when theres nobody else around

Trust in love cause it will always heal your heartbreaks

And we always learn em better from our mistakes

For me there'll never be nobody else but you

I thought of walking by myself

But I could never make it through - without you

Theres nothing we can't over come

We're staring at a bright new sun

We'll take it day by day and stay one breath from the heartache

We'll touch the earth and kiss the sky

As the same moment passes by

Then we'll be sure to stay one breath away from heartache

One breath from the heartache

Touch my hand if I ever feel that you're weak

Lay your head here on my shoulder when you need

Tell your secrets to me when they get too heavy

And I'll make sure that I'm always there for you

I don't need anybody else but you - for me I don't know if I'll find the words

But if I do will you believe

Theres nothing we can't over come

We're staring at a bright new sun

And we'll take it day by day and stay one breath from the heartache

We'll touch the earth and kiss the sky

As the same moment passes by

Then we'll be sure to stay one breath from the heartache

And I will catch you if you fall

My heart will be there if you call

And I will cover you through anything at all

One breath from the heartache

Theres nothing we can't over come

We're staring at a bright new sun

We'll take it day by day and stay one breath from a heartache

One breath from a heartache

Trust in me and I will never let you down

<3

Forgive Me

Father, I'm going through some heavy things, it seems like this world ain't getting any better

The more we try to get closer to You, the farther we run from Your throne

I've spent so many nights wonderin' 'when will it end'? When will the day come when happiness begins?

I'm running the race but it seems too hard to win, I'm sick of mourning my stomach is throwing up in the morning

I'm calling for help and watching it melt away

My heart's been put on display and put away

In many ways, many times I told myself it was ok, and anger was the price that was paid

While these faded dreams just screamed to "bring them home!", the burden was too heavy I kept running from the throne

I can't take it any longer, I can taste my spirit hunger,

God please help me get home!

Lord though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

I'm not scared cause You're holding my breath

I only fear that I don't have enough time left, To tell the world that there's no time left,

Lord please

I've come to terms that I'm burning both sides of the rope

And I'm hoping that self-control would kick in before I'm choking off the sin that be destroying every fiber I got

I need the Lord in every way I'll never make it I'm not Going back to the way I was before Christ in my life

I couldn't do it, I would lose it, there's no point to the fight

And I'm writing this song, for the people who don't belong, I pray away the pain you feel from all the things that went wrong!

Inside a life that's filled with anger and disappointment,

Cause daddy treated you weaker than all of the other kids

It's annoying and I feel for all of you who wanna give up, You feel stuck, I feel the same way Lord help us stay up!

You couldn't pay me to abandon the idea of true hope

That I could make it through this life into a place where there's no crying

I'm dying to find You with open arms when I go, knowing You love me and You're waiting to give rest to my soul

Lord I don't know what I'm struggling for

There's go to be more, than this life I know

But still I'm here, fighting to never give up

I find strength in Your love

And You will see me through

Already Gone

Remember all the things we wanted, Now all our memories,

They're haunted.

We were always meant to say goodbye.

Even with our fists held high, It never would have work out right

We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out, I didn't come here to hurt you, now I can't stop

I want you to know, that it doesn't matter where we take this road,

But someone's gotta go

And I want you to know, You couldn't have loved me better

But I want you to move on

So I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder

But I know that you'll find another, That doesn't always make you wanna cry

It started with the perfect kiss, then we could feel the poison set in

"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive

You know that I love you so

I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know, that it doesn't matter where we take this road,

But someone's gotta go

And I want you to know, You couldn't have loved me better

But I want you to move on So I'm already gone

You can't make it feel right, When you know that it's wrong

I'm already gone

There's no moving on

So I'm already gone

Remember all the things we wanted

Now all our memories, they're haunted

We were always meant to say goodbye

<3

-Already Gone

Kelly Clarkson

People always leave.

Why do people disappear from our lives? Its one thing for a loved one to be taken from us, or to even move away due to a job transfer, and just lose touch over time because.. well we get busy with our new lives, but for someone you care about to voluntarily disappear from you world?? And you ask "why?" but all the say is "Its whats best". Or sometimes they say nothing at all. They just disappear. And then you eventually start living your life again. Doing your day to day things, learning to live without that one person in your life. Finally start getting happy again. And then it happens.... They're back. Just like that. Why do people think they can just disappear from your life, and then walk right back in it... as if they never left in the first place. Or they know it was wrong and say "i'm sorry, I made a mistake, I missed you so much" or "I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was going on, I should've at least let you know what was going on". And why does it always seem to happen right when things are starting to go great, and you're starting to get things back on track. Is God messing with our personal lives? Cause I know, I sure didn't sign up for this. To have people I love walk in and out of my life constantly. I just got someone back, and will be leaving again soon to go to the military.. and I fear that I will lose this person again... And then another someone that I trusted disappeared from my life, with no word what so ever.. I let it go, and now this person is back. Why do people always leave!? I'm really starting to learn to not get too attached to anything these days, because nothing is ever constant. People always leave.

Grief

Did you ever wonder what it would be like if you weren't you anymore?

If you were suddenly gone..

How would your world react? ....

Whatever you imagined is wrong....

There's nothing romantic about death.

Grief is like the ocean..

It's deep.

It's dark.

It's bigger than all of us.

And pain..

Is like a thief in the night.

The Measure of Life.

"They say we leave this world just the way we came into it.--naked, and alone.

So if we do leave with nothing, what then is the measure of a life?

Is it defined by the people we choose to love?

Or is life simply measured by our accomplishments? And what if we fail, or are never really truly loved, what then?

Can we ever measure up? Or would the quiet desperation of a life unwanted, drive us mad?"

Dear Body

Dear Body;

I hate that you tend to get sick when i'm stressed or under pressure. Its like you're defective or something. .. I'm sorry i'm so ashamed of you most days, I guess its my fault really, I should take better care of you, I'm sorry that I don't.

Hair;

I'm sorry for blowdrying, straightening, dying, curling, and waving the crap out of you. I am mostly sorry for that ridiculous perm in elementary school. It didn't even come close to being as cool or pretty as I thought it would be.

Eyes;

I love you most of all, and i'm sorry for torturing you with the mass amount of make-up I use on a daily basis. Thank you for the beautiful, long eyelashes. I can never get enough of hearing girls ask jealously "Are those your real eyelashes?" and the other "I can't believe you're not wearing contacts!!"

Thank you for not failing on me.

Eyebrows;

I'm sorry to say but I really dislike you. You're just always so awkward to take care of and make look decent.

Nose;

I'm sorry for piercing you, but you dont seem to mind. Thank you for not rejecting it like Jessicas did so many times. And i'm sorry for dropping my laptop on you. I try my hardest to take good care of you.

Lips Lips Lips;

I wish you were a tad bit bigger/plumper. I'm sorry I chew you so often. Its a habit that i'm trying to break.

I'm sorry I don't smile often, and show off those pearly whites.

I hear its quite a beautiful sight to see, thank you for that and i'll try to show you off more often.

Cheeks;

You're alright. I've grown rather fond of the fact that when I smile and/or laugh, you, along with the help of my chin, turn my face into a heart shape. Appearantly its adorable, so thank you for that.

Arms;

I'm sorry I hurt you way back when.

Hands;

I love you. I'm sorry for the rough manicures I tend to put you through. Thank you for being so small and gentle.

Tummy;

I don't quite know what to make of you. Somedays you'll be hungry all day long, others you'll go a whole day without even wanting any food. Make up your mind already!

I'm sorry I starve you sometime, and don't satisfy your hunger. It all goes with the process of taking better care of my body. I'm sorry i'll feed you absolute junk somedays. Thank you for co-operating with me and not getting completely upset with me when I do.

Legs;

I wish you were a tad bit longer. You're at such an awkward length its hard to buy a pair of jeans without ripping them to shreds on the bottom seam, and its hard to find a decent tailor to hem them properly without turning them into flood pants.

I'm sorry I hide you so much. I should let you see the sun more often, then perhaps you wouldn't be so pastey and I wouldn't be so embarrassed of you. Really I should appreciate you more often, how would I get around without you?

Feet;

I'm sorry for the pain I put you through just to wear a pretty pair of shoes. I should also appreciate you more. Thank you for being small and fitting into sizes 5 to 7. It makes shoe shopping more fun and easy.

Brain;

.. What to say... I should really use you more often. I'm sorry I fry you by wasting my time on the internet when I could be doing better things with my time, like reading or writting.

And last but not least...

Heart;

Oh Heart...

I'm sorry i'm not careful enough with you. You and I have been through some pretty tough times. Maybe if I had listened to you from the start you would not now be so brutally shattered.

I wish there was more I could do to prevent you from being hurt further.

Dear Body;

I will try harder to take better care of you from this day on. I will appreciate you more often, excercise and feed you properly.

I will spend more time outdoors, smiling and laughing, and I will listen to my heart more often.

Love,

Dana-Faye*

Updates/Decisions

Hey Everyone!!

Its been awhile since I wrote a post or ranted about anything... I've kindof been keeping to myself lately, haven't really talked to anyone in quite some time, trying to get some 'me' time in, and just making important decisions on life... a lot of personal stuff has been going down so I'm making some changes in my life... { ...I'll get into some of it in a bit... } I just started talking to everyone again yesterday... But its mainly cause i've been so busy lately. Plus with the fact that I pretty much have nothing to really rant about right now.

I dont know what it is lately, but i'm just in a good mood all the time. I dont know if its cause I have a job finally, and I dont feel like a bum or what, but... I'm just really content with life right now. The only thing that has phased me really is the fact that I have several water blisters on my toes from having to wear uncomfortable shoes to work.

Once I make a little more money though that will change.. so thats why I havent complained yet, cause uncomfortable shoes is only temporary. Hopefully.

Other than that I have no complaints.

I like my job so far. The girls that i've worked with so far, are really nice, I have a really nice boss, and she knows how to be fun, but be your boss at the same time.

The clothes aren't so bad.. I have to admit though... Tristan was semi-right about it being an "old ladies" store... SEMI right... not completely, cause we do get a fair amount of older women.. but we get a good age range of 20+... but there have even been a lot of little teeny boppers in the store aswell.

But I like some of the clothes. I think they're nice.

We play a lot of heavy-ish hip-hop music at work too though, which isn't sooooo bad... i'm not a huge fan of it, but it helps me get my tasks done quickly. .... And we like to have dance parties in the change rooms when no ones in the store.. and if the customers are cool enough, we have dance parties with them aswell.

I mentioned making decisions in my life. I dunno really what much to say, im just basically making decisions as far as, what i'm going to do.... I've made plans to move out with a roommate hopefully within the next 3-4 months, but lately i've been feeling like.. there's nothing here for me, but I also want to go to college. So decisions, A)move out with roommate (whom I get along with very well, and get excited thinking about living with her) B) Go back to Wales and stay... longer than a month C) Stay at home, go to collge.

Decisions, decisions, decisions....

I've been letting go of quite a few things this past week that were just too much for me to handle. I'm starting to look out for numero uno. I've been so busy tryin to please everyone else, that I kinda just... shoved myself aside. So thats starting to change.

Anyways..... This is getting too long and its insanely boring and probly pointless to a lot of you. But there you are.

Hope all is well!!

<3

How Stupid Do You Feel?

Hello all!!

Does anyone ever tell a story, and feel stupid after telling it?? I have done that one too many times.. and I was just reminded of it, because I was showing my mom this youtube video, and then she laughed at it, and then she went downstairs and started to tell my dad about said video, and she's sitting there, going into detail about this video, and she even starts acting part of it out, and she's laughing about it. And my dads just sitting there staring at her... and not laughing. Once she's done telling her story about the video that I had just shown her, it was just silent, and he just kinda walked away from her, and she walked away and just let out this sigh. And this thought went through my mind "oh man... That was kinda brutal. I wonder if she feels stupid? I feel stupid... I thought it was a funny video...maybe he would've laughed if he had actually watched the video himself..."

And then I feel even more stupid for thinking all of this to myself!!

Those moments have happened to me a ton of times! Where I'll start talking about something, or describing something... and then i'll get no response, and i'll feel insanely retarded.. But the people who just change the subject and act like the past ten... thirty minutes didnt happen, are the people who make me feel better about the situation.. the people who stand there and just stare at you for a certain amount of time and then reply "What was your point?" or "I'll bet you feel stupid" are the people who usually make you feel even worse. Sometimes... sometiems I'll just shrug it off and laugh, sometimes i'll be like "yupp... I'm an idiot."

Just a thought.

Guess whattt....

I got my cellphone back!! It was down for the past month or so, because I was broke, now its up. And i'm excited about it.. even though I only ever use it to text two people.. actually... More like one person. The other person barely ever texts me unless we have plans to hang out and he's picking me up. But no matter!! I have a phone. My life is lame and complete.

Oh and I went shopping today for my dress for my cousins wedding. Its pretty... I like it. I usually dont like dresses but I'm kind of excited about this one.

Did anyone do any awesome april fools pranks??

I totally forgot it was April fools!!! I had some pretty awesome pranks I wanted to do too.. And I ended up sleeping in.. I dont get why April fools is supposed to end at noon though? Why is that??

Anyways, Hope everyone is having a good week so far!!!

<3

A Good Day.

Hey alll...

I just wanted to apologize for my previous blog... I was having a bad night, just wanted to vent out my frustration.

Hope you all had a great day!!

I went all the way to school today, only to find out that its Spring Break!!! That really would've been nice to know.

I saw Monsters vs. Aliens today!!! Funny movie! Pixar never ceases to entertain me. I think my friend and I were the only two adults in there without kids. The theatre was full of kids. But hey, thats alright with me. I'm not ashamed of it. I love kid movies!!

I also saw Madagascar 2, a couple nights ago. Also a hilarious movie!!! I know I know, Madagascar 2 came out awhile ago... I'm a bit behind on the times these days. But I highly suggest that you see it, aswell as Monsters vs. Aliens.

I also saw 'The Last House On The Left'. Not going to lie, it was quite.... disturbing. It was good, I guess... It wasn't way up there for me. But... it was .. ok. I wish I could go into detail of what went down, but some people might want to see it, and good or not, I dont want to spoil it so. But those are just my shared thoughts of how I felt about them.

--> The Last House on the Left... it was so-so for me... be your own judge I guess

-->Madascar 2.... Hilarious! SEE IT!! Better than the first one, I promise you.

--> Monsters vs. Aliens... Also.. SEE IT... It also brought a smile to my face. It made up for my frustrating day.

After I saw Monsters vs. Aliens, something weird happened. I made dinner guys!!! I COOKED.

ME!!

Yeah... and wanna know something else pretty amazing.. it was actually pretty darn good. Who would've thought, that I could succeed in actually cooking something other than pasta.

I mean... pasta was included in this dinner.. but I GRILLED chicken. And it was sooo good. And no, I didnt burn it!

I found it kind of exciting, because anyone who knows me knows that the only thing that i'm good at making are, Scrambled Eggs, French Toast, Pasta, and Sandwiches, Chocolate Cake, Salad, and Salmon.

Yeah. Pretty sad huh.

But i'm learning!!! Figured it was time to step it up. And so I did.

I didnt really have anything else to really rant about so I just thought I'd share my day. Aside from going all the way downtown, it was a pretty good day. Saw a good friend, saw a good movie, cooked a good dinner. Watched a new episode of 'One Tree Hill'.

Gotta love those simple, relaxing days!!

<3

Byee.

Break-ups, Mistakes, Jerkiness & Getting Wasted...

I wasnt going to rant about this one, but I need to get it off my chest or else i'm going to go crazy... And I know I already posted a blog today that was fairly long, but whatever.. I'm becoming obsessed with blogging... so sue me.

Anyways...back to my subject..

I just wanna know why Break-ups and getting totally wasted, have such a huge connection?? Not even that.. Break-ups and .. jerk..iness....

Its like... "yeah man, me and my girl (of.. place amount of time here) just broke up, i'm kinda down about.. "

"oh really?? so sorry to hear that bro"

"Oh whatever man, she was a bitch... lets go get wasted"

I mean really?? Is it necassary to be such a jerk.. and I realize that I took on the role of a male... but its not just guys who do it!! Girls do it too.. sometimes I'll talk to a friend and she'll tell me how upset she is that she just broke up with her boyfriend, and then she'll switch into this bitch, and proceed to point out all of his flaws, and rant about how much of an asshole he is/was to her.

At that point i'm sitting there, thinking... "uh... ............ " Yeah... what the heck do you say.. do you encourage her to be a bitch about it, or do you sit there and just take it, and just reply every now and then with an awkard "yeah...".

Sometimes, people can get really cold, and ignore the other person.. the other person will try to be a good sport about the whole situation, and try be friendly towards the other, but end up getting the cold shoulder and being totally ignored...

Or the other person will be very short... like:

"Hey, how have you been?"

"fine."

"oh... thats cool... are you excited for summer?"

"Yes"

You know?? One worded answers... its frustrating.. why are we like this people?!

And also... when you break up with someone, or not even break up necessarily.. say you had a bit of a fling with someone and really liked that person, but realized it just wouldnt work out in the end... so you break things off.... they proceed to either A) be a jerk about the whole thing (girls and guys) , or B) get insanely smashed, and rebound onto other people... sometimes people do both.

And don't take this the wrong way, i'm not judging anyone for doing it.. I just want to know why people feel the need to be like this!?

We've all done it at least once in our life time, myself included, and if you haven't ... good on you!! Be strong.

For once I would like to see someone break-up, and be like "you know what... it was a good relationship, no hard feelings, no regrets... yes i'm hurt, but i'll get past it, what doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger"

And then mayber... in a few months time, after things have kind of settled, the two can be civilized people towards eachother, talk every now and then without it being awkward...

Am I wishing for a perfect world?? Probably. But really...

Getting smashed and/or being a jerk... I guess that could be a persons way of dealing with... grief or sense of loss, but do you not realize... that word does get around. And it doesn't make it any easier for the other person??

Unless that other person really didnt give a... you know what... about you, it does hurt them to hear what you're saying about them, or to see what you're doing to yourself. Some people can be really sensitive and take it very personally. Like for example.. my friend had a fling with this guy, who she really liked, and he really liked her, but she couldn't see it working out, so she broke things off... she's still really hurt about making this decision, regrets making this decision, and I sometimes even have to convince her to put her cellphone down and not call him, but.. she see's pictures of him on the internet, at some bar or party, all smashed and with a lot of really pretty girls, and he's commenting about how much fun he's had, and how wasted he was that night, and that night, and that night... and even in his status's and msn names... he sends those little secret messages out that we all do... and she takes it so personally, saying that he's doing it to shove it in her face that he's moved on, and having fun without her.

I dont know what to say to her.. because I know this guy msyelf, and it hurts me, because in a way i'm thinking that, he's just doing it cause he's hurt, and he wants to try and deal with this hurt in his own way... but at the same time, i'm thinking that she could be right..

I dont know...

I see it happen so often though.. and its not just with break-ups either really... its when someone dies, or someone starts get really upset with decisions they've made in there life, so they proceed to make matters worse by drinking or doing drugs... having sex with random faceless people.

Its like this hole that people try fill, and it doesnt work, so they keep going and going...

I often wonder... is it a permanent hole?? Is there even really anything that CAN fill it???

Anyways... I'm sorry for the.... deep blog, and i'm sorry it was so long, I didn't think it would be so long. But yeah. I just had to get it out there. So there you are bloggers.

Irrational Fears

Hello all!! Hope you had a great weekend!

So awhile back when I was on youtube, I came across this girls video that made me laugh so much cause I could relate to it quite a bit, so I started watching more of her videos and then befriended her on youtube, cause she's pretty much my personality twin.. all her videos are things that I would do or can relate to in some way... (username: communitychannel --check her out...she's awesome..) anyways... She did a video about irrational fears and I just wanted to share the videos with you, because we got a pretty good laugh at them..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3GwJXfefck&feature=channel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKNsv4R3xtA&feature=channel

(watch the video's..cause you may not get what i'm talking about if you dont) I totally do that check your phone thing, because my phone does actually dial out by itself quite often, and it gets me into a lot of trouble sometimes... well at least it used to when I had cellphone... And the spider thing.... Yeaaah... also totally me! Gotta keep that eye contact with them or i'm afraid that it'll be like some crazy horror movie, that the spider will jump on me as I turn to try and escape, hide somewhere on me where I cant see it and then it'll wait until the perfect moment to attack me... or it will get all its little buddies and family members and gang up on me...

Ugh disgusting.

Another irrational fear that I've been told I have.. heights. Oh man.. let me tell you now, its pathetic, and I know it is... I cant even step up any higher than five steps on a ladder without getting all nervously freaked out!! Whats with that!? ... and yet.. I love rides... I love the rides that go up somewhat high, and flip you around. Love them, and I get such an adrenaline rush from them because the only thing i'm thinking about when i'm flipping around is "My belt is going to break open..." and yeah.. you get the rest of what would happen next.

I dont necessarily think that, that one is irrational though, because it has been known to happen, just like how I refuse to go on the rollercoaster in West Edmonton Mall, because yes, it has crashed before.

Bridges.. oh my. I hate bridges. Esepcially in the winter. I'm always worried that the bridge is going to cave in, or some idiot is going to cut us off and we're gunna go crashing over the side and right into the river.. or the road underneath, which ever overpass/bridge you happen to be on at the time.

Does that sound irrational? Cause I can never tell? Cause like Nat says in her video "it makes sense in my mind".

What IS irrational though, is thinking that i'm always being watched... I always feel like i'm being haunted, or stalked... that there's someone under my bed and if my hand is hanging over the side someone is going to reach out and grab it, or if i'm in the shower, someone will be standing on the other side of the curtain, or even when I close my eyes to wash my face, someone will be standing there... I know Tristan has this fear so i'm glad i'm not alone on that one... and it doesnt just have to happen to the sexy girls either it could happen to anyone.. (to understand what i'm saying read: http://learnwithtristan.blogspot.com/2009/03/if-your-happy-and-you-know-it.html ) but anyways... I have to keep my closet door open at all times, and my bedroom door aswell has to be closed when i'm in my room, so I can see that there really is no one there. And my bedroom curtains have to be closed cause even though I am on the second floor, there is a school right outside my window with lots of clever hiding/stake-out places i'm sure!!

Could happen.

...I dunno... I'm just saying.

I have to say though, two irrational fears that I have I'm not only going to blame horror films, but one of my cousins, because she told me this scary story one time when we were younger, and I have not forgotten it, and to this day, it still scares the crap outta me, and they're not listed above, I didnt share them because they are pretty disturbing fears...so ... Thank you for that Mandi. Thumbs up on that one!! lol .. I do of course still love her!!

If you are curious however what the fears are.. let me know and I will share them with you, if you're in the mood to be disturbed.

But yeah.. those are some of my irrational fears!

Irrational or not.. they make sense to me.

<3

Hope you all have a good week!!

{If you have any of these fears let me know.. or if you have any irrational fears.. let me know those too!! }

Simple Things

So I absolutely love. love. love. The movie 'Wall-E'. .. And I think my most favorite thing about the movie, is that the writers gave him the most unexpected character. The beginning of the movie was sad to me, and I almost wanted to turn it off, until we reached one of the best parts..

The morning when he rolls off his shelf, not even remotely awake just yet, and rolls right into the wall. And its not just me who thinks that this is one of the best parts of the movie, almost every single person that I have watched the movie with, or have talked to about the movie, agrees that this is a fantastic part, and you know why its so brilliant and we all love it.. Because we all do it!!! Dont lie, I know you've done it at least once or twice in your lifetime, and if you honestly haven't... then believe me my friends, you will.. just wait..

I'm not lying, i've done it several times... and I haven't just walked into something, or stubbed my toe... No... I've gotten black eyes before, and the reason why i'm randomly talking about this is because today I fell out of bed.

See.. normally a person can get out of the left or right side of their bed, not me, the way my room is set-up, I have to crawl to the end of my bed and get off.

So this morning i'm crawling out of bed as usual, but something was different... the bed had looked longer than it was because the blankets were hanging a little further than the mattress itself was... so what do I do??.... I crawled/fell, right off the bed, and the result... tensor bandage around the wrist. Yeaaaah... Just a taste of my clumsy-ness for you right there... I'm ok though! No need to fret. I laughed pretty hard at myself while saying "It hurts!!"

But see.... Just writting about it, and thinking about it all over again, I still laugh about it. And it got me to thinking about silly things that we do in our everyday lives, and so many people just... dont know how to loosen up and laugh about it. Its those silly, simple things that make your day. Well they make my day.

Having a sense of humour, to me personally is key. Otherwise life would be so miserable.

We take these things for granted I think.

You gotta be able to have a little bit of a laugh everyday. If you're having a bad day, or you're feeling blue, just try to think of something that made you laugh, even if its the stupidest thing that no one else would understand.... if makes you laugh and feel better, even for second, then go for it!!

Laughter is the best medicine.

Anyways, my point about throwing Wall-E into this blog, wasn't just to mention the clumsy side of him in the mornings, but it was also to point out that, he enjoyed the simplest things in life, he took fascination to things that we would never even think twice about, like... when he found the diamond ring, and tossed it aside and just kept the box. He collected so many little gadgets that even I myself wouldn't collect, and i'm not suggesting that we all start collecting little gadgets, but i'm saying he took notice to the things that we never did, we're Eve's.

She didnt really take the time to observe anything, she just did her job, and moved on. Until Wall-E came along and showed her how to enjoy the simple things.

My point being... that just by smiling randomly, or sharing an embarrassing story about yourself, or about anything really... its contagious.

You see someone smiling... you'll smile. And then someone else will see you smiling and they'll smile.

Simple things.

What would we do without them??

Too Long (Requested) Random Rant..

So my friends for some reason love it when I rant... Because it seems to be hilarious for them, cause I do tend to rant about some of the most ridiculous things.. kinda like another friend I know, who rants about dorito chips, or sunfires, potatoes even... and he makes it sound really hilarious, to the point where he can pull ranting off and not look like a jerk for doing it. People love him. ... Not going to name him, cause he may be upset that I even mentioned him...maybe, maybe not.. if you do happen to read this, and you are upset, I am so sorry best bud...(Your Guide To Enlightenment...look for blog in the box to the left)....dont hate me anymore than you possibly already do.... but you know its true, your blogs are awesome...

Anywho, so from now on I will be throwing random rants into my blog, just because I get odd requests for it. So here goes ...

Weirdos.

You know what really makes me angry. Forgetfullness. Not so much other peoples forgetfullness, mainly my own. I have one of the worst memories in the world. All I can seem to remember most of the time, are bad things. Things that I really really rather not remember. When i'm out trying to have a good time with friends, and/or friends of friends, I'll be doing ok for awhile, and then i'll get this flash of a bad memory, and it'll put me in a really awkward/bad mood, to the point where I'm not having fun anymore because all I can think of is this bad memory, and so I get all quiet, to the point where people actually start judging me. Its bad enough that i'm an uber shy person in the first place, --like so shy, its ridiculous and actually makes me angry aswell--... I'm not a B*&%$. Or at least I dont purposely try to be one. I'm just shy. {And also have an uncontrollable mind that never shuts up!!} And its not that I dont want to talk to you, its that I cant ever seem to think of anything remotely interesting to say without sounding like a complete tool. There's also those times, where you're with a friend, and you're just meeting their other friends or family members for the first time, or not even for the first time, sometimes its just whenever, and they start going down memory lane, or talking about something that you were never a part of or have no idea what they're talking about... and then they look at you and say this --->>"you're awfully quiet" <<---- {or something along those lines} What do you say to that? Really?? I dont want to make myself look like an idiot by trying to talk about something that I was either A) never a part of, or B) really had no clue what was being said. So I just sit and listen. And then there are those times where you finally think of something clever/interesting to say, or you finally do know what everyone else is talking about, but you've been so quiet for so long, that your mouth goes dry, and you {well, I dont know about you but I personally do this} freak out thinking that if you open your mouth for the first time in.. hours, that everyone is going to look at you and think "oh wow, it actually talks!" Ugh. Why am I so pathetic?! Random rant right there... just some, pent up emotions I guess, cause I guess i'm just tired of being called the "B word" or 'The Ice Queen'. First impressions stink! Dont judge someone because they're shy, Please people. Some people take awhile to come out of their shell. I sure as heck do. I know its lame and it sucks, but it takes me even longer to warm up to people and be myself when they're already judging me before they really actually know me. I dont know.. could just be me.

I'm just saying.

ANYWAYS...Back to my forgetfullness... speaking of forgetfullness..

(I also have a mild case of A.D.D) So today i'm walking to the Seven Eleven, to break my $10 to get change for the bus, and before I left the house I had to triple check to make sure I had my Ten in my purse and it was sitting right there in my purse all three times I checked. So I get to the counter, open up my purse, and there is no Ten Dollar Bill in my purse, I begin to empty my purse onto the counter, I checked my jean pockets, my coat pockets, and I checked my hoodie pockets, it was nowhere to be found. So I check my purse again. And I check my pockets again. I tell the clerk I'll be back, leave the store and retrace my steps back to my house, staring at the ground, thinking that maybe I put it in my pockets and maybe it fell out. Nope.. no money on the ground, so maybe I took it out and put it on the kitchen table or my bed... nope. I guess i'm not going anywhere now. So i'm sitting here, and i'm about to change back into my 'comfy home pants' (also known as Yoga pants) when something falls out of my back pocket....... Yeaaah. Take a wild guess what it was!! I was so certain I had left it in my purse. I do not recall putting it in my pocket what so ever!!! But hey it happens. When I was shopping with my friend one time, she was on her cellphone, then shortly after she had hung up her cellphone, we were searching for her phone, retraced our steps... moments later, she found it in her pocket. It happens to the best of us what can I say. One more thing that happens..typing out your thoughts and then re-reading it and realizing that you were missing a word.. or four.. Have you ever done that?? Typed something out, and then read over it and realized that you were missing half a sentence because you were saying it out loud to yourself while typing, so you thought you typed it but didnt actually type it?? Yup. I do it.. I'm crazy about proper grammar, and pronouncing words correctly. But I tend to do it a lot... and it drives some people bonkers! Myself included.

Myself especially. It happens most often when i'm having a heated discussion with someone (and by heated I mean angry). I'll type something and i'll miss a couple words, so then it sounds like i'm saying something totally different and possibly offensive. And then they'll get really pissed off about it, and then i'll be like "no! no no! thats not what I meant, what I meant was..." and then I'll type out what I meant and they'll be all "uh huh, how could you possibly miss that many words"

or one time I even got a response such as:

"Thats kind of an important word, how could you forget that one?" ...Better believe it buster!! It happens!! I dont like it anymore than you do....

Especially if it offends someone, or gets someone even more upset at me. It just happens, you get so focused sometimes, and caught up, that you actually end up saying things out loud to yourself, that you jump ahead of yourself while typing. My apologies. There's rant number one... well... two rants in one. Enjoy. :)

Slow Down

Lately i've been feeling like time has gone by so fast. With the stresses of life these days, its easy to get caught up and lose your way. I heard this song yesterday on my ipod, one I completely forgot I had. Its funny how sometimes you can turn on your music or your radio and the perfect song that expresses exactly how you're feeling plays. I put this on repeat and it calmed me down, I actually managed to have a good sleep for once, so I just felt like sharing it, because I know that we all get caught up in life sometimes, and how can we not? These days there's so much to worry about, but we manage to forget about the simple things in life that could bring a smile to your face, or calm you down.

"Life is short, dont forget to slow down and smell the roses"

'Slow Me Down'

by

Emmy Rossum.

Rushing and racing and running in circles

Moving so fast I'm forgetting my purpose

Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning

Getting nowhere

My head and my heart are colliding chaotic

Pace of the world I just wish I could stop it

Try to appear like I've got it together

I'm falling apart

Save me

Somebody take my hand and lead me

Slow me down

Don't let love pass me by

Just show me how

Cause I'm ready to fall

Slow me down

Don't let me live a lie

Before my life flies by I need you to slow me down

Sometimes I fear that I might disappear

In the blur of fast forward I falter again

Forgetting to breatheI need to sleep

I'm getting nowhere

All that I've missed I see in the reflection

Pass me while I wasn't paying attention

Tired of rushing, racing and running

I'm falling apart

Tell me

Oh won't you take my hand and lead me

Slow me down

Don't let love pass me by

Just show me how

Cause I'm ready to fall

Slow me down

Don't let me live a lie

Before my life flies by

I need you to slow me down

Just show me

I need you to slow me down

Slow me down

Slow me down

The noise of the world is getting me caught up

Chasing the clock and I wish I could stop it

Just need to breathe

Somebody please

Slow me down